A Long Note to my Oncologist Today

My medical oncologist received a long message from me today.  Things have been going pretty well overall - some bone and joint pain here and there.  Some hot flashes.  All of this from being 3 weeks on Anastrozole, my estrogen-suppressing drug I take for 7 years.  Nothing unmanageable yet.

What sparked the message was a visit to my PCP today for my annual physical.  (Which I thought was hysterical given the constant monitoring I'm under.)  During the physical, I complained about my hair (shocking, but yet it's still shedding and driving me absolutely insane - think about if your hair was falling out over 6 months with no sign of stopping) which lead to her running a few blood tests.  One of those was checking my A1C as I heard that Anastrozole will make that spike. 

And the result of that test is what sparked this section of my note:

"A1C is up & I am pretty mad about it. What can we do about it? Between potential bone density loss, heart damage, and now a threat of diabetes, I'm over this 'treatment'."

Yep, that's where I am today. Just pissed. Yet another thing to monitor and to figure out how to manage with my team. I am literally ruining the rest of my body to keep the cancer away. It's exhausting and mind numbing. I have moments when I think I'm doing so well, and then there are moments like these when I just want to throw my hands up in the air and stop the madness.

I know I'm extra squirrelly because I have an infusion on Wednesday. The anxiety starts ramping up on the Monday before and I'll be an anxiety ball by tomorrow. But still, I find this all to be completely insane.

Sorry for the punky post, but that's what the blog is here for. And I missed writing a little. Stay tuned for my post-oncology meeting on Wednesday; should be a whopper. xo, J

PS - On a totally different topic, thinking about starting a Substack with travel and post-cancer life themes...not sure how they mix but I might make a go of it. Thoughts? Message me.



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