The Concept of a Good Day

Since radiation ended, I've had some 'good days'.  What constitutes a good day now?  Heading to bed with a smile on my face.  Spending time outside.  Working out in the morning.  Watching the sun set.  Dining at a quiet, lovely restaurant.  Catching up with my girls and friends.

During chemo, I didn't have many good days.  Side effects came out of nowhere.  Naps were mandatory in the end and through recovery.  I couldn't trust my body; I was always assessing and on guard.  During radiation, I wasn't sure what was going to happen.  While I didn't have any major side effects (thank goodness), I was constantly assessing and alert, and also going to radiation daily.  

Post radiation, it's been quiet, in a good way.  My shoulders have relaxed; the tenseness has subsided. Yesterday was a really good day.  And today is shaping up to be a good day too.  Walk along a beach, lunch with a friend, quiet coffee with my husband.  Peace.  I find myself tearing up here and there; I don't know why, but it feels a lot like relief.

While my pre-cancer self would have considered most of this to be too quiet and maybe boring, my post-cancer self is loving it.  Granted, I'm still recovering and will be for a while.  I woke up with a sharp pain in my radiated shoulder last night and it was hard to get back to sleep.  But I did and I didn't let it trouble me that much.  Just a note to my team this morning.

I know I need more peaceful and quiet days in the weeks to come.  So much so that I cancelled an appointment with my nutritionist so that I HAVE NO CANCER RELATED APPOINTMENTS NEXT WEEK!  (Knock wood.) It's been almost 6 months since I could say that.  And I have several the week after, but for now, a free week will hopefully yield several 'good days'. xo J


Comments

  1. Rachel CarterFebruary 26, 2025 at 5:58 AM

    You have approached this unexpected and difficult chappter with the same drive, passion and dedication that we all know you for. Nothing short of heroic. So glad you can feel a bit of quiet and stillness now. Rest and continue to take best care. Proud of you xo

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