DONE*

* with active treatment.

20 radiation appointments done.  Last one this morning.  As with most of these treatments, I went to the gym at 6:45am and then straight to radiation.  My husband met me there.  Had the last 'torching', met with my radiation oncologist ("see you in 3 months"), and that was it.  Changed out of the robe, left that awful dressing room, and smacked the bell by myself as I walked by it on my way out.  No ceremony.  Just relief. 

I am done with active treatment.  While I still have 8 months of HP infusions and will find out what meds I'm on for 5 to 10 years on March 5th, I am done.  My armpit is insanely tan and I'll be applying lotion for 3 more weeks. I'm a bundle of mixed feelings.  Joy at being done.  Pride that I kept working out and tried to keep up with life as best I could.  Unease as I'm thrust back into the world with the feeling of looking over my shoulder and analyzing every ache and pain.  Disbelief that this even happened in the first place.  Sadness that my body has been through so much.

There is no test or scan to accompany me out the door.  I will have a mammogram in August and an MRI in January 2026.  I asked for the MRI to be first, but apparently my chest will still be recovering and inflamed and the MRI would show lots of questionable things.  So that waits for a year.  I will be asking my medical oncologist for a PET scan (which is a complete body scan for cancer - that will be an uphill battle.  It's not even close to protocol.). I so desperately want a note of NED - no evidence of disease - somewhere in my medical file.  

So that's it.  86 appointments.  Hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical bills.  (For a brief example: one Herceptin infusion is $14,000; the Perjeta is $27,000.  Grateful for good insurance.) And out you go.

My radiation oncologist warned me that the adrenaline of enduring months of treatment will wear off, and now patients start to process what has happened to them.  My cancer therapist said the same thing.  I believe it.  You put your head down and get it done.  This is the hardest thing I have ever done.  Good thing I have an appointment with my cancer therapist tomorrow.  Let the unwinding begin.  xo J

Comments

  1. LizFebruary 20, 2025 at 6:43 AM

    Yahoo!!! So happy this part is behind you! Congrats on another huge milestone. XOXO

    ReplyDelete

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