Last Days in Carmel and What Lies Ahead

This trip was exactly what I needed.  A few weeks away from it all, where I can be outside every day either hiking or walking or golfing.  My strength is definitely coming back.  I walked 4+ miles in Point Lobos State Park this morning (PS - put Point Lobos on your bucket list - it's exceptional), followed by lunch out and a walk through town to poke in a few shops.  My sense of taste is coming back.  I'm not falling down tired every day even though I should be by the amount of things I'm doing.  My husband and I will watch the sunset later and then head to a lovely dinner.  

However, I'm looking at my calendar for next week and delaying the inevitable by writing now. Why?  Because I head back into cancer hell next week.  And I'm dreading it.  The depressing basement at Newton Wellesley.  The daily reminder of what is going on with my body.  I have 4 radiation appointments, a Herceptin and Perjeta infusion, and a meeting with my medical oncologist - all between Tuesday and Friday.  Yippee.  Not.

It'll be a huge smack in the head.  While I've been in Carmel, I have tapered off ALL meds (except Biotin for hair regrowth and that's not really a 'med'), am definitely 'healing' from chemo, and am simply living my life.  Yes, I have to rest here and there, my hair is still shedding (which is completely annoying and just plain mean), my fingernails are hanging on by a thread, and I have to cover myself with sunscreen as I'm still sun sensitive.  I am the palest person in Carmel.  So the reminders are there, but not the center of attention.

After I check out my calendar (and e-check in to those appointments so I stop getting text reminders), I'll put it all away until touch down in Boston.  Soak in the last of this glorious break.  And maybe start to plan the next one... xo J

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