Chemo Day Eight

It wouldn't be cancer without a surprise every day.  

I was dreading this treatment.  I was feeling good being off chemo, better every day, and hated the thought of dripping the poison (ahem medicine) into my body again.  In an attempt to keep as few meds in my body as possible, I had asked my onco to reduce the amount of steroids again since the gabapentin seemed to be doing the trick with the burning-from-the-inside-out side effect.  She agreed, and when I arrived in infusion room 13 (boo, and I should have known, but I was wearing my new lucky and protection crystals so I thought I had it covered), to find my favorite infusion nurse (yippee!) prepping my day.

We had a chat about the cyst (huge, uncomfortable, and impossible to see dermatologists quickly although I eked out an appointment tomorrow morning), and made the decision to drop Benadryl from my premeds.  That was exciting!  I'm all grown up!  Fewer premeds meant the day might not be a total loss to chemo.

Cold Capping Goddess (CCG) is with me and we get the thumbs up to get capping.  Off we go. My hair is much thinner and we need to make sure my scalp is completely covered to protect my scalp skin from frost bite.  Much like we do with the panty liner on my forehead.  Nothing says "I cold cap" like walking down the infusion hall with slicked back hair and a panty liner on your forehead.

We cap.  It's good.  It starts.  In the 2 weeks, I have completely forgotten how bad it is and have some cringing.  Also, with thinner hair, I have less protection and it is COLD. 😰 My phone timer clicks down, and at one point, I turn on the cold capping playlist to tune everyone out.  Lean into the pain.  And then it seems my husband and CCG are having a funny conversation so I turn the music off to join in.  And it's all good.  No tears, no drama.  15 minutes pass and my husband makes sure I'm okay and he leaves to walk the dog.  CCG and I start chatting while the infusion nurse starts the Taxol (my chemo drug).

About 3 minutes into the Taxol drip, I say to CCG "I feel like my kidneys are killing me."  And a minute later "my kidneys are spasming, my back too, I can't sit, I have to stand up - help."  And she does, and then sticks her head out the door and calls for my infusion nurse.  She comes in, takes one look at me, and shuts off the Taxol drip.  Apparently my face is turning red and my back is now having severe muscle spasms. 

Another nurse comes in and my onco is called.  Immediately, they give me a massive dose of Benadryl, which sends me into a full body twitch, with dizziness to boot.  I can sit down now, the spasms are receding.  The twitch continues, and they explain to me I am having an allergic reaction (a rare one, of course) to the Taxol and they are pausing treatment.  I get a little hostile and say something to the effect of 'no, we are continuing on with this today.'  The onco arrives and says that yes we can continue today (phew) and that we will be upping all of my premeds to their original levels for the final 3 treatments, period.

That's kind of shit news.  I hate the steroids.  My face is red every Thursday and Friday all day and I have trouble sleeping and need Ativan (more meds that I'm trying to avoid).  But they do give me energy for those days too and I can get a lot done.  But then the crash on Saturdays and Sundays suck.  I hate the Benadryl.  It sucks the life out of me.  Chemo day is a total loss (I'm just up from a 2 hour nap.)

And, if you recall from earlier posts, I hate the amount of medicine put in me.  Today alone, here is what's floating through me:

Gabapentin (nervous system calmer), Doxycycline (to hold off chemo acne and help with cyst), Zyrtec (for allergic reactions), Tylenol, Ativan (for help with cold capping), Pepcid (to minimize heartburn), Benadryl, Dexamethasone (steroid), and Taxol (chemo).  There's a statin topper at bedtime tonight with my second rounds of Gapapentin and Doxy.  10 drugs floating around.  I might have left one off, I don't know.  This is SO not me.  I hate all of this.

Back to today,  My husband arrives back as they are slowly restarting the Taxol, and he is horrified about what happened in his brief absence.  CCG gives me a hug and heads out (thank you again - what a day!).  The day is longer than expected because of this speed bump.  After my infusion nurse watches me (literally stares at me) for 10 minutes, she ups the flow to normal, there are no reactions, and we are back on track.  I find the 'gravity free' setting on my chair, push the button to get into that position, and nod in and out of sleep.

I'm in a drug bubble when we leave.  We have a 2:00 call with our architect about our Maine house that I sit through, do some silly chores, and then crash, hard.  

My plan for the night is to blog (done!), write some notes, eat dinner and sleep.  And tomorrow, hit my 5:30am workout. 

And PS - as for the crystals, I was very lucky CCG was there with me when things went sideways.  And very lucky that my husband is there to pick up the pieces and help put me back together.  So I'm going to believe they protected me today.  Both my peeps and the crystals.  xo J