Some Days I'm Frayed and Some Days I'm Not

Feeling pretty good so far this week post chemo (knock wood!) which is allowing me the space to reflect on a few things.  

After Beach Bootcamp this morning (Yes, I'm one of those crazy people in the photo.  Photo credit: C. Dahn), I headed off to coffee and was reminded of earlier this fall, when I thought I had lost my wallet.  On that particular day, my nerves were already frayed and the idea of my wallet lost sent me into tears.  Like immediately.  Not one of my finer moments.

Today, I could laugh about it and some of the funny comments that where made once the wallet was found to be in a bag with Candace. Maybe it's because I'm in a routine now or I understand my body's needs better (a daily nap is necessary) but things seem to have 'settled' somewhat. 

I've come to terms with my hair falling out.  It does, daily, but I've stopped crying about it.  It still makes me sad, but not in a paralyzing way.  I'm not stacking multiple activities on days anymore; I'm spreading out activities and errands over more days.  I am continuing to workout but realize that somedays I'm at 90% (today) and other days I'm at 50% (last Tuesday) and that's okay.

I hope to have less 'frayed' days going forward and find more balance as I go through the second half of chemo.  Be more present and less 'in my head'.  Anyway, thoughts for the day.  Thank you for your continued support and care. xo J

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