How did I get here?

On the eve of my first chemo treatment (the cocktail will be THP - more on that later), I reflect back almost two months ago, when shortly after a routine mammogram, I got the call.  "Please come in for more imaging." Which turned into "Can you come in tomorrow for a biopsy?". And 3 days later, "You have breast cancer".  That was Monday, August 12th.  

For those who know me well, I hopped on the phone the next day and contacted every doctor I knew and asked for help.  On Wednesday, August 14th I had 2 appointments - one at MGH, one at Dana Farber.  I was in the system.  

After more visits to both fabulous institutions, I chose to have a lumpectomy on September 4th at MGH, the same day as closing day for ladies golf, for which I am the chair.  The cat was going to have to be out of the bag soon; it would be entirely bizarre for me NOT to be at the golf club that day.  A call to my vice-chair - she was a rock star and took over everything.  And slowly, I started to tell friends and family.

I excused myself from more things: dinners, outings and golf tournaments in exchange for breast MRIs, echocardiograms, consults with oncologists, genetic testing and counseling, and, in the more fun category, prepping my 2 daughters to head to college.  Oh, and we were starting construction on our house in Maine so there was packing and moving as well.  Two parents' weekends at 2 colleges. September was a shit show sprinkled with lovely times with my husband and girls.

It was a shock and it is still a shock.  I can't believe I have cancer.  My parents were never "healthy" people. I work very hard to be 'healthy'.   Meaning, I want to be in good enough shape to do I want to do, when I want to do it.  Ski at Christmas? Sign me up.  Hit beach bootcamp 3 days a week?  Yes please.  Tennis and golf all summer long?  Absolutely.  Long walks on the Brook Path?  Call a friend.  Schedule routine colonoscopies and mammograms.  Read the book "Outlive" and work with your PCP to identify a genetic condition and start taking a statin.  I thought if I managed my health well, I could avoid the bad things.

But the cancer snuck through (maybe due to a moderate CHEK2 mutation?  Who knows?) and here I am.  Practicing putting on my cold cap to try to save my hair.  My oncologist says I "should tolerate the chemo well".  My MGH Social Worker says that the anxiety will diminish once I get into the routine.

What is the routine?

12 weeks of chemo, once a week.  1 year of infused HER2+ drugs, once every three weeks.  6 weeks of radiation after chemo.

That starts tomorrow morning at 8:20am.  I should be there for 9 hours.  I'm scared.  I'm anxious.  And I am so fucking ready to get this started. xo J


Comments

  1. Peressutti FamilyOctober 8, 2024 at 6:56 AM

    This is so perfect for you and us! What a great way to keep us posted on the process without you having to get into it over and over. You are a badass and cancer isn't going to know what hit it. You are loved more than you know.
    PS (No idea why I am "Peressutti Family" here...you know me better than that!!)

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